💥Atomic Essays

Short-form lightly edited, lightly structured essays, written in 30 minutes.
Published on:
February 11, 2024

🌸 Invisible Illnesses and Disorders, What They Didn't Know

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In a short series of me sharing my invisible illnesses and disorders. Inspired by Oprah's book, What happened To You? Below are statements made to me in recent years by people who never ever took the time to get to know me, inquire about my life, and never asked What happened To You?

There's nothing wrong with you; you are just "F****ing Crazy

This was said to me after I tried explaining I had a hard time controlling my studdering, ADHD, and anxiety. Issues I developed after physical trauma, and uterine rupture/reproductive issues as a child.

That girl does not have asthma; you know people like her just want attention.

Said about me 2 hours before being hospitalized with dangerously low oxygen levels and walking pneumonia.

You are just a spoiled privileged American; ADHD and anxiety are made up terms.

A work colleague said after I shared my experience with ADHD and anxiety.

Maybe you should have just jumped in front of the train; the world can use fewer people like you.

Said to me after I shared in confidence that I felt I didn't have any fight left in me following a traumatic work situation, family drama, and losing everything I owned, all within 72hours.

I don't care to check on someone who is always missing; good people who serve God don't experience depression, she probably never even experienced real hardship in life.

Said about myself when I experienced my first ever situational depression, following being called "that colored girl, you stupid N****r, and being cursed out by my boss.

Omg, just suck it up, take an Advil, and move on with life. What makes you different than the rest of us women? Your periods can not be that bad.

Said to me after quietly having a laparoscopy*, **and* **I shared I was considering a hysterectomy at the age of 21.

When people ask how are you, just say good, because to be honest, we all don't really care if you are depressed because you say you experience racism at work.

Said to me, the same day, I was assaulted by a known racist at work.

These were statements said to me in my adult life:

Asthma. Allergies. Neurogenic stuttering. Psychogenic tremors. Apraxia. Endometriosis. Multiple Uterine Ruptures.

These are illnesses and disorders I've experienced throughout my life:

ADHD. Anxiety. Social Anxiety. Situational Depression. Thoughts of Suicide.

These illnesses and disorders occurred after physical harm, trauma, and environmental circumstances. At times I tried to explain myself, but often never bothered to talk about what happened in my life, kept quiet, and suffered in silence. At the time, these statements hurt me to my core and caused some of my physical and mental health issues. Thankfully, I learned how to deal with these obstacles I face that others can not see.

Next, I'll be sharing how this all affected my life. All of the steps I took throughout my life to thrive despite my challenges and negative treatment because of these challenges.💜🌈

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